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How do I restore my family's confidence in me and reconcile them?

Are your parents so hard on you that you don't know why? Did you do something that made them lose their trust in you and your feelings of guilt? Do you feel the need to return to a comfortable relationship between you and do not know the way to do so? Here in this article are some of the reasons that parents are hard on, and others that make them lose confidence in you, in addition to some ways that may help you to fix this.

If you really lost your parents' trust in you and wanted to reconcile them and restore that trust, try to take some steps that can restore things to normal, such as:

Apologizing first and acknowledging the mistake: 

This becomes your duty when you commit something that harms their confidence in you, and tries your best to be sincere and tell them that you know how much you made a mistake by doing something that undermines trust between you, but bear in mind that they don't need to respond to you from the first time, do not expect anything From them in the beginning, as the most important thing is for them to know your real regret for what happened and your desire for reform.

Be prepared to do what they ask of you: 

tell your parents that you want them to do anything they want to prove your goodwill and your desire to restore their trust in you, and ask them frankly what they want even if they don't tell you right away; What is important is that you put them in a picture of your readiness to implement what they ask of you, even later, and if their request is difficult or unreasonable for you in your opinion, express it to them without complaining while expressing your desire to do it despite its difficulty.

Start by fixing what you have damaged:

Repair any harm you have caused to anyone, which has resulted in the loss of your parents' trust, no doubt when they know that you have made reparation for the harm you did, whether it was wounding someone or offending in a particular situation or otherwise; It will show them that you are responsible for your actions.

Try to trust your parents:

and be confident in the correctness of their opinions in your upbringing and following your actions and their love for you and their desire to be the best, and know that this trust will generate their trust in you because this relationship is two-sided and takes place in two directions, meaning that it is mutual, and this requires you to work sincerely in this context.

Be attentive to your parents:

and to their advice and respond to what they say so that they feel that the communication between you is effective and achieves its goal, as listening includes attention to the ideas presented, constructive dialogue that leads to results, and an accurate understanding of their goal of a specific behaviour or punishment, and if something is missing from your understanding, ask about it so that it does not remain unknown And it will show them your seriousness in correcting any mistake and desire to restore confidence.

Spend more time with your family:

It is important to spend time with your family to build a healthy relationship with your parents; By reassuring them that you are with them, you will expel bad thoughts about you, and this time you will devote to the family will allow you to better understand your parents and get closer to them and clarify your views to them, as well as show your positives in front of them, which will boost confidence in you again and bring back to mind your good deeds.

Be responsible: 

any act responsibly, and declare that you are responsible for all your previous and subsequent actions and statements, including your mistakes, while affirming your desire to correct what you did and accomplish what is due to you, and this indicates personal strength and a sincere desire to restore your parents’ trust, and responsibility includes completing some work within And out of the house and relieved of your parents.

Do not despair of asking for forgiveness:

it is useful for your parents to feel that you are interested in them, their satisfaction, and your relationship with them, and this will also make it easier for you to restore their trust, so if you try to reconcile them and they refuse, do not despair and repeat the attempt more than once.

How do you keep your parents' trust?

If you have truly regained your family's trust in you and do not want to lose it again, here are some tips that may help you:

Control yourself:

The first piece of advice is to control your emotions, as the reason for losing their confidence in you is often the behaviour of what you did recklessly and without thinking or restraint, so acting as rationally as possible and controlling emotions and feelings in front of your parents will make you a place of trust in them, and if you cannot control your feelings On your own, seek the help of a psychological counsellor who will explain to you the way to that.

Stick to what your parents want from you:

and what they do not want, especially if you already know their desire and the prohibitions they have, and if you do not know, simply ask them to avoid their prohibitions so as not to be considered a violation of their trust more than once.

Follow the rules of your parents at home:

if they are strict and know that at some point they are necessary to control the joint family life and respect those rules while showing this to your parents, this will raise your status to them.

Maintain honesty: 

Whether it is a secret that belongs to them or to others, or a family matter that should not come out of the door of the house, this is a basic condition of trust.

Maintain your respect for them:

Sometimes people get angry against their will, but if you get angry, don't hurt either of your parents with your words and don't give them hurtful speech or criticism that makes them disappoint you and themselves, try to be understanding.

Put yourself in the place of your parents:

and try to think about what they are expected to feel, it shortens the distance between you if you want to do something and you want to put possibilities about their reaction.

Why do parents lose faith in their children?

If you are sure that your parents do not trust you and you are confused about the reason for this, see if you have taken any of the following:

Lying and deception:

Parents may lose confidence in their son if they suspect that he is lying to them about anything, or trying to deceive them with a certain matter to reach a goal, or concealing an important matter that they should be aware of, or revealing something they have recommended to him to keep.

Abusive behaviour: 

Parents' trust in their children can be undermined if they do something that harms the interest of the family while they know the expected harm from what they have done.

Embarrassing them in front of others:

The other thing that prevents parents from trusting their son/daughter is causing harm or harm to any of the acquaintances, relatives, or even distant others, which exposes them to embarrassment in front of them.

Recklessness and escaping from responsibility:

The thing that causes parents to lose confidence in their children is the children's failure to act responsibly towards what they are assigned to them by their parents or not showing the desire to take responsibility for any of the home or family duties, and even the future and study.

Reasons why parents are cruel to their children?

You can deduce your parents' distrust of you through some of the cruel behaviour they may do towards you, and some have natural cruelty with common reasons, and some of them are due to other things as follows:

Correcting the behaviour of children:

The most important causes of cruelty common to parents are the desire to correct the behaviour of their children and push them to correct mistakes in their personalities that cannot be fixed by indulgence.

Special problems: 

Parents may suffer from marital problems that create tension that is emptied on the children, and the pressures that parents are exposed to in daily life may be a cause of cruelty to the children, and you should appreciate and try to accommodate it.

The personality of the parents:

the cause of cruelty can sometimes be some psychological accumulation of one of the parents from the past; Either from his childhood, adolescence, or youth, including deprivation, oppression, and mistrust, and it may be reflected in the children.

Educational Pattern:

There is no doubt that cruelty is a common educational pattern, and many parents believe that harshness and extreme firmness are the most effective methods in evaluating and raising children.

How do you deal with the cruelty of your parents?

If you experience cruelty coupled with mistrust from your parents, whether it is rational or irrational, you can act on it as follows:

Try to maintain your calm: 

when you receive harsh criticism from your parents, keep in mind that anger will not help and the situation will be difficult, and you should bring calm to resort to self-control through meditation, or slow breathing during the situation, this helps to calm you when the criticism that you do not want Hearing it, it will also relieve your stress.

Check yourself: 

Sometimes it is difficult for you to know the mood your parents are going through and whether they are satisfied with you or not. Try to explain your position carefully and without blaming them.

Avoid arguing: 

In some cases, arguing is a door to exacerbating any problem or mistreatment between you and your parents. The advice here is: “Do not argue” because that will not change anything when things are at their peak. 

Rather, it is better here to try to mitigate the situation in several ways, such as offering them to them.

 Drink coffee, for example, while choosing a low tone of voice and a calm, soft pace of speaking and avoiding direct eye contact with them. 

Sometimes these positive gestures absorb negative charges from the atmosphere between you and allow their response to your offer more comfort.

Get out of your current situation:

if your reality is that your parents are rude to you illogically and without a legitimate cause, attempt to think about something else.
 away from them and your present; And go to think about your future that you love and your life that you hope to live later, away from the tense atmosphere at home, and also try, despite all that, to find an excuse for them that makes you better behave with them to encourage their positive treatment of you, and protect you from unloading their cruelty on your children in the future.

Ask for help: 

it may be useful for you to talk to a person you trust, and there is no harm in a social counsellor who advises you on an effective mechanism to follow in dealing with your parents so as not to provoke their cruelty. 
It has positive results on his relationship with them, and you have the option to use him, and if you do not want to take the advice of a consultant or friend, turn to a relative you trust.

Take care of yourself: 

Improve yourself by adopting healthy habits that include good sleep, good nutrition, exercise, and sometimes reading books you love or seeing a friend, which will make you have a platform to accept negative things without affecting you, and motivate you to act calmly and deal positively with critical situations from parents.

A final word... Your parents have their reasons for being cruel to you. 

You may find them irrational and you may actually be so, but your duty is not to take a totally negative stance from them and try to maintain a bond of trust that brings you together so that you do not fall into a stage of conscience torment and personality decline.

 Work on keeping them satisfied and at the same time express your views and opinions positively.